Delayed Gratification

“Stormy, however, is into delayed gratification. If on Monday she thirsts for a

root-beer float, she’ll wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to treat herself to

one. She insists that the wait makes the float taste better.”

-Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz

The Old Testament is always exploring this theme: Moses didn’t get to enter the Promised and not David but his  son Solomon fulfilled the promise of building the temple of the Lord.

As parents of little ones, we experience delayed gratification as well. A few times a day I catch myself looking with longing at what home life will be like a decade from now. I would like less tears, more sleep at night, and to be able to get the kids in the car without worrying about second degree burns from their car seats (am I right?!) I also look forward to the emotional maturity that will come to my children as they age, I’m excited to be able to share my favorite chapter books with them and sit on the couch and talk about their day. I want to see them love Jesus and be inspired by His love to love others.

This is where the delayed gratification part comes in. Wanting all of those thing is all well and good as dreaming is part of hope, but I can’t expect to have those things in the future without showing my kids love now. And not just hugs and kisses but love through patience, love through discipline, love through kindness. Actually, all the fruits of the spirit go here. Oh yeah, fruit, that’s how Jesus described it. What we water and tend to will grow (Matthew 13). So I need to remember that being an example of love through the little things like late night wake-up calls, temper tantrums, and hot car seats is like a deposit that hopefully I will see the interest on in their future.

I’m starting to think that this also works in the reverse: perhaps I am learning patience and kindness now so I’m prepared for the blessing of my family in the future. Every day I’m being pruned and  refined for what God has next. Just when I think I’m the one doing the teaching, I learn a lesson. But then, isn’t that how parenthood always works?

Primetime’s Return to Fantasy

I’m taking a break from my recent heavy posts on this blog to express some joy: there are new, awesome, and supernatural TV shows on primetime! And they are getting great ratings!

Let me explain. I love fiction, fantasy and the supernatural. Buffy and Angel are my favorite TV shows of all time. Why? Because anything can exist in their world. They take normal creativity and put it on crack cocaine and then see what happens. The reason I veg out and do anything whether its read a book, watch a TV show or watch a movie is to leave my real world and go someplace else. Even if it’s a non-fiction book or documentary I want it to transport me from where I am to someplace new, and often I judge how much I like something by its ability to do that.

As Chad and I were catching up on our DVR’d shows last night (DVR is the best thing, we can watch primetime shows after our little ones go to bed) we watched both the new show Grimm (NBC) and Once Upon A Time (ABC). We love them! And correct me if I’m wrong, but these are the first supernatural shows in a long time. Yes, I know The Vampire Diaries is in its third season on the CW and Supernatural has been on for who knows how long, but seeing complete fantasy shows on the big networks (like ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox) is really cool for this entertainment fan. And apparently a lot of other people are happy about it too, because the shows are rocking the ratings.

 

I think part of the reason the networks have been afraid to put shows like these are their schedules in the past is because they’re worried that the shows will seem juvenile and be unrelatable because they’re so fictitious. But as an avid fan of Buffy and Angel I can say that this is not true, the characters in those shows are some of the richest I’ve ever seen. I think the paradox of having characters you can connect with who are set in a world you’ve never experienced brings depth to a show, separating it from other shows. Don’t get me wrong, I like ‘normal’ shows too. I loved House before it jumped the shark (come on, writing off Cameron like that?), I like Criminal Minds and Law & Order:SVU, and I love Ringer on the CW. But I can only watch cop and doctor shows for so long before I want something new. And for the first time in a long time I think we have something new! And I can’t wait to watch more.

Tags: angel, buffy, grimm, my absolute nerdiness, once upon a time, the vampire diaries, tv

Today’s Strength

In keeping with yesterday’s post regarding my problem with worrying, I wanted to share this:

via Pinterest.

Yes, I gave into the temptation and created a Pinterest account even after I heard about how addicting it is. Hopefully I still make time for reading!

 

Tags: pinterest, the walk

Worry Wart

This morning I was doing my normal blog-reading routine when something grabbed me and I had to share it. I love it when you’re floating through a normal day and then something simple smacks you, throws ice-cold water on you, and then puts a megaphone to your ear to get its message through. It shined a light on a dark thing inside me that I’ve battled, and I know it’s a common struggle so I’m voicing it here too.

It’s a blog entry at Femina. Have I mentioned how much I love this blog? I feel so inspired when I read it, especially when I read entries like this one. Nancy talks about worrying. And I am a Worrier with a capital W! I always have been, but recently it’s gotten worse and Chad and I have had many conversations about it. In the most recent one, I was complaining about a new issue that was giving me stress. At least once a week, I’ll get a letter in the mail that requires a phone call (or two, or three, or four) to sort out or an unexpected bill or something else that I let worry me. I was telling Chad that I find myself thanking God when I don’t have an unresolved issue because I know that it’s only a matter of time until another one comes. He pointed out to me that this way of thinking is a self-fulfilling prophecy: I’m expecting something to come that will cause me anxiety. So not only will that thing come (because that’s life, stressful things happen) but I’m ready to worry about it. Wow!

I had convinced myself that this mindset was good. I was praising God in the good times and the bad times, right? But really I was reassuring myself that when something else arises, I will worry myself with handling it instead of trusting God. That’s what Nancy’s blog entry addresses: the “uglifying sin” of worrying. Ouch. That’s a loaded phrase. See what I mean about the smack across the face and the ice-cold water?

There’s more. She says, “Worry is antithetical to biblical femininity. It is never pretty. It sucks the joy out of our lives, disturbs our peace, and  disrupts a gentle and quiet spirit.” If I could list the things that I don’t want in my home, in my family, and in my life, it would be those things. I often try to think about the legacy my kid’s childhood years will leave on the rest of their lives. When they grow up and start lives of their own (I’m trying not to tear up), what will they remember of life in our house? I definitely don’t want them to remember a mother who worried constantly and never trusted God with her troubles. What kind of example does that set for what I believe about my Savior? That He can’t handle the piece of paper I get in the mail? That He isn’t bigger than a hospital bill? He is bigger than all of those things, and it’s about time that I start acting that way.

She quoted a bible verse that I’m going to post somewhere in my house where I can look at it often:

The wisest of women builds her house,
   but folly with her own hands tears it down.

Proverbs 14:1

This is something I love about motherhood. It’s so humbling. Realizing how responsible you are for showing your children who God is makes your rough spots neon-bright, they glow in the darkest spaces. She ended her entry with a few beautiful sentences that I couldn’t word any better, so it’s going to close my blog entry as well:

“Trust is lovely. Peace is beautiful. Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you, and He cares for your kids. Don’t worry over them. Pray over them. This will cause them to draw near. Worry sets them up to pull away.”

Tags: Blogroll, family life, married life, money, motherhood, my wonderful husband, my wonderful kids, the walk

(A lot of) Book thoughts…

I’ve realized that I haven’t been keeping up with my “Book Thoughts” posts for some time now. I’ve gotten quite a bit of time to read lately and I’ve loved taking advantage of it. Here are some of the books I’ve been reading lately and some thoughts on them:

  Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, fiction

 This is one of my favorite books that I’ve read this year. I finished it in one day, that’s how quickly I got into it. The mystery of what was going on propelled me to keep reading, but the development of the mystery was so thoughtfully written. You don’t find everything out all at once, it’s a kind of gentle realization that actually makes it much more dramatic, in my opinion. Tip: definitely read this book before the movie, this is a book that is much better than the movie and you don’t want the movie to spoil the mystery of the book!

 

 Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic, non-fiction

I referenced her book in an earlier post and I still hope to give this book its own post soon when I have the time… it definitely deserves it! This would be my most highly recommended book to any mom out there. I want to buy this book for some of my favorite momma friends and read it all together. I haven’t read very many books on parenting other than baby books that are more for medical advice, but this is by far my favorite book I’ve read on parenting. There will (hopefully) be more to come on this one…

 

 The Passage by Justin Cronin, fiction

 I just finished this book last week, I think it’s the longest book I’ve read in a while (over 700 pages). It’s got a lot of different elements: post-apocalyptic, government conspiracy, monsters, and a little religion. My only complaint about this book isn’t even really a fair one; I had found this book on multiple “Best Horror books of 2010″ lists and so I went into it thinking it would be really scary, but I didn’t think it was. Perhaps it is and I’ve been desensitized but I was hoping for something really scary to keep me up at night (yes I’m a crazy person that loves to be scared. It’s a rush!) Something to know going into this book is that it’s best to look at it as two acts… I didn’t know that and so I was disappointed going into the second act because it was weird to go from the climax of the first act back to exposition of the second one. A great read though, creative and well-written.

 

 The Naked Gospel by Andrew Farley, non-fiction

 This is another book that deserves its own post, and hopefully I’ll get to that someday soon. My pastor reviewed this book on his blog, interviewed the author and said that this book would raise some huge questions about faith… and he was so right. I think this will end up being one of the most life-changing books I’ve ever read. As I was reading, I was already reflecting on ways this could influence my parenting, marriage, and life for the better. This is a book I want to re-read at least every few years to soak in the wisdom. Read it with an open mind… it will challenge everything you’ve ever though about Christianity, especially if you grew up in the Church.

 

 Bossypants by Tina Fey, non-fiction

 This book was hilarious. Just a tip: read it by yourself because you will laugh out loud and people will stare at you if you’re in public. A lot of the jokes are inappropriate, so don’t read it if you don’t want something in the PG-13/R range. What made me really like this book is that it wasn’t just a funny book with some jokes, Tina Fey threads through the book some really interesting stories about being a female comedienne in a world where men usually rule. She has a lot of worthwhile things to say on feminism and women in entertainment. And she has the creepiest cover ever.

 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, fiction

This is my least favorite book that I’ve read lately but that really doesn’t mean it’s bad, I’ve just been reading some really good books! I remember this book being really popular while I was in high school but I never read it and so I decided to read it now in my 20s, which is probably a mistake. I think this is a book written for high-schoolers that is best read by high-schoolers. It’s told entirely in a first-person format in the form of letters, which I found kind of annoying by the end. I got tired of hearing everything from the same perspective and in the same voice throughout the entire story. The voice is purposely child-like and very personal, but at the risk of sounding pretentious, I think it’s lazy writing.

 

 The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, non-fiction

This is a wonderfully told memoir of growing up in poverty, but it’s not always what you’d think. What is so different about this story is how she tells it. When she is telling stories from when she was a little girl, you can’t help but feel the childlike awe and innocence towards her parents, but as she grows up you do too and you start to see the alcoholism and neglect that was there. She is a very strong person with a great story to tell. This would be great for a book club, I definitely recommend this one!

 

Some other books I’ve read and loved lately are The Millenium trilogy (the first book is the future film The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), The Hunger Games trilogy(also future movies!), Odd Thomas (again, another future movie), and I’m currently reading The Haunting of Hill House because it’s October and I love scary stories!!

What have you been reading? I LOVE recommendations!

Tags: Blogroll, books

The Daily Test

I have so much to say and share, I know it’s not all going to fit into one blog entry (at least not in an understandable way) but I still don’t really know the best way to organize it all. So, instead of even attempting order I’m just going to go for it! So be prepared for many links, quotes, and crazy ideas to come at you from all sides.

To start, I’ve found one of my most favorite non-fiction books of all time. It all started with this blog entry by Rachel Jankovic. I cannot recommend this article highly enough. Yes, it’s intended for mothers, but I think it’s good reading for anyone who ever thinks they maybe could be a parent, ever. So everyone. I immediately saved this article to my “favorites” list and I read it almost every week, especially when I feel that I’m losing sight of what’s important. Never have I found something that is so challenging, encouraging, and comforting at the same time. Like I said, I can’t recommend it enough.

That blog entry took me to her book Loving the Little Years which I downloaded to my Kindle iPad app (only $6 and I got it immediately!) and read in one night. I’m not trying to brag about myself when I say I read it that quickly, I’m trying to point out how freaking awesome her book is. But I really think that to give it justice I’m going to have to do an entirely separate entry (now you understand what I mean by my abundance of thinks to say and lack of organization).

Next, her book took me to another blog (see what I mean with the links? And don’t worry, there’s more) named Femina that she co-writes with some other women in her family. I love this blog! I haven’t agreed with everything that’s been written, but that just means that I’m actually really learning from what they’re sharing. There’s wisdom, compassion, laughter, and love in that blog and it’s one of my favorite things to check in the morning.

Now, I want to share a specific blog entry at Femina that I really liked. To make this whole story a circle, the reason I loved this blog entry is because it reminded me of one of my favorite parts of Loving the Little Years. In one of the chapters Rachel says that everyday is a test on how we display the Fruits of the Spirit. Some days we don’t do so well so we should think about what we need to work on and do better the next day. The blog entry at Femina was written specifically on love and how mothers need to love their children with more than natural love, they need supernatural love:

“Moms can rapidly run to the end of their supply of natural love and find themselves not feeling very loving at all. This is why we need God’s love, the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love, if we want to give our children what they really need…”

She then goes through all the sides of love as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13 and relates them to this above-and-beyond love that we can only show through God’s love for us. It’s wonderful, and I can tell already that it’ll be another pick-me-up on days when I’m down.

Hopefully this wasn’t too confusing. Like I said, there are many more thoughts and reflections bouncing inside my head that I definitely want to get onto this blog but I think this entry and the ones I linked to are enough for right now. Check back for more once I get my craziness sorted out into something that looks like English language and grammar!

Tags: Blogroll, books, motherhood

What Would You Tell Yourself?

I found a great video where moms are asked an insightful question: “If you could go back and tell your pregnant self something you know now, what would it be?” Watch and see their answers:

I thought the idea of having them write their answers and display them, rather than speak them, was really creative. Not only was it original aesthetically but it simplifies the answer beautifully and, in my opinion, makes it more powerful. My high school English teacher always reminded us to “write million dollar ideas with ten-cent words”, and I think this video does just that.

It’s hard to learn things from past seasons of my life if my scope of reflection is too big. What I mean is, asking the broad question “What did I learn?” is too general, and therefore my answers don’t go too deep. But the way they asked the question, “What would you go back and tell yourself?” pinpoints what you’ve learned, gained, and received and is an easier question to answer. It makes it more personal, too.

So what would I tell my pregnant self? That you’ll love him so much it almost hurts. That breastfeeding won’t be as easy as you thought. To ignore the nurses at the hospital that make you doubt yourself. That the man you married will be the best dad ever. That you’ll never take sleep for granted again. That the Moby wrap will be your best friend. That returning to work will be really hard, but you’ll get through it. That you’re about to learn more about God’s love from him than you have in every sermon you’ve ever heard, combined.

To other parents out there, what would you tell yourself? If you’re not a parent, what would you tell yourself from other past seasons, like school or pre-marriage or even last month?

Tags: lack of sleep, my wonderful kids, parenting, videos